Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
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Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
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Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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