I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
