Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
