Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
