If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
