We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
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I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
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He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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