yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
