just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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