I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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