found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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