U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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