I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think your dad took our porno
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
