So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
