she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize