I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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