Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
