May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
he just fucked me for my cheese.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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