Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
