Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
