So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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