Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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