She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
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I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
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I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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