is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
