We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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