My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
