did you get engaged???
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
