He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
