is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
