P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
