I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
