do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
