y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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