I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
