you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
