...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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