Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
