I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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