just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
