Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
