i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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