And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
