Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
her facebook's as public as her vagina
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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