she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
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Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
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In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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