why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
