My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
