You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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