spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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