I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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