also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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