i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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