Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
