just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
