A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
