I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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