He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
