Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
