apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
