and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
