Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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