3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize