Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
