i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
